Acrobat by Mary Calmes

Author:Mary Calmes
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Published: 2012-04-24T23:04:10+00:00

LATER, as I was walking from the platform where the L let me off, my phone rang.

“Hi.” I smiled into my phone.

“I, uhm,” Michael hedged on the other end, “wanted to know where you are.”

“I’m almost home. Where are you?”

“I’m at Tony Strada’s house in Northbrook.”

“Okay.”

“How was your date with the doctor?”

“He got called away.”

“Did you reschedule?”

“What is this, twenty questions with my love life?”

“No, I just—I wanted to know is all.”

“Okay.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No, why would I be mad at you?”

“I dunno.”

He was the one who sounded weird.

“What’s wrong?”

“Is it bad that I don’t feel like shit?”

I had to catch up. “You mean about Mr. Romelli and your uncle’s friends?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would it be bad?”

“Everybody keeps saying how sad it is.”

“But you didn’t really know them, right? I mean, even Dreo’s friends, you guys weren’t close.”

“No.”

I was suddenly sad, thinking about Frank’s mother, and that it was Friday, and that I was never going to get the forgotten carbonara we had talked about in my apartment. And it wasn’t the food, of course, but the man’s good intentions that would never be followed through on.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

“How am I supposed to feel?”

“You can feel that it’s all terribly regrettable, but you’re not going to be torn up like Dreo is, or Sal. They were there. That’s the difference.”

“I would have been sad about Sal. He comes by sometimes, but he was the only one.”

It made sense. They had been Dreo’s friends. He had grown up with them, but they were not good enough influences, except Sal, apparently, for Dreo to allow them to be around Michael. There were double standards. It had been the same for me after Jared was born. People you never judged unworthy were suddenly not allowed near your kid or the life you shared with your child.

“I understand,” I assured him. “You’re not falling apart, and that’s what people are expecting, so you feel like you’re sticking out.”

“Yeah. Everybody’s looking at me like because Dreo’s all torn up that I should be too, and I’m like fuck you, I ain’t sad.”

But he was something, probably angry. “Are you thinking about your mother’s funeral?”

“No,” he snapped, which told me that of course he was.

“Are you thinking you don’t remember all those people being that upset when your mom died?”

“What?” His voice went way up. “Why would you even think that?”

Bravado. I understood. I had been sixteen a hundred years ago too. “I don’t know what I’m even talking about. Sorry.”

He was quiet on the other end, so I waited. After a long minute he cleared his throat. “What’re you gonna do now?”

“I’m going to the gym, then home and shower and change and meet friends out for drinks and dinner.”

“Oh.”

He sounded very disappointed. “Or I can come there if you want.”

“No, that’s not what I want.” He scoffed.

I was so glad I would never have to be sixteen again. Just thinking about it was exhausting. “Okay, then I’ll see you.

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